Category: incorrect quote

Regular

Lenny: So, I’m just gonna throw you in this unmarked room – for the rest of eternity. And since it seems you love humans so much, I’ll torture you like one. All you’ll have for entertainment is that giant stack of “New Yorker” magazines.

David: Oh, come on. You and I both know I’ll never read those.

Lenny: Of course you won’t. But they’ll just keep coming.

Shadow King-as-David: Hello, Syd.

Shadow King-as-David: Hello, Syd.
Syd: Hello, Evil David.
Shadow King-as-David: What? How did you– ?
Syd: I know an evil doppelgänger when I see one.
Plus, your eyes are yellow.
Shadow King-as-David: Silence!
Syd: Are you here to kill David?
Shadow King-as-David: Oh, you non-evils are so naive. I’m here to save David from the smothering teat of his mutant buddy group.

Charles: And so I look at you, so self-reliant and well-adjusted, and I think maybe I did something right.

Charles: And so I look at you, so self-reliant and well-adjusted, and I think maybe I did something right.
David: You did something right?
Charles: Well, let me say that different. Uh – the universe is a constantly expanding —
David: Stop. I get the impulse. It’s not gonna work here.
Charles: No, I just mean that we are defined by what happens to us, and me leaving seems to have made you independent, made you strong.
David: With all due respect, which is none, go to hell.

Charles: So, how about we make a couple of ground rules.

Charles: So, how about we make a couple of ground rules.
David: Actually, that sounds good. Okay, no hugs.
Charles: Wouldn’t want one. No apologies.
David: Wouldn’t accept one.

Melanie: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.

Melanie: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
David: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

David: Hey!

David: Hey!
Lenny: What d’ya got?
David: I just waved at an Division 3 Agent and he waved back, that was cool.
Lenny: Good, David. Be magnanimous.
David: What the fuck does that mean?
Lenny: Lofty and king-like.

David: [running around the lake with his arms outstretched like an airplane]

David: [running around the lake with his arms outstretched like an airplane]
Syd: What, did you, like, give him some drugs or something?
Melanie: I don’t know.
Syd: What the fuck did you do to him?
Melanie: Just asked him what he would be if he wasn’t a Mutant.
Syd: Oh my God, he wants to be a ballerina? That’s my fucking dream!

David: If my mother ever distributed my likeness without written authorization, I would disown her.

David: If my mother ever distributed my likeness without written authorization, I would disown her.
Ptonomy: Technically speaking, David, but… didn’t your biological parents disown you when they put you up for adoption?

Lenny: Fuck, man! I’m on thirty hours no sleep! Beat the record I made in high school when I was on the debate team.

Lenny: Fuck, man! I’m on thirty hours no sleep! Beat the record I made in high school when I was on the debate team.
David: Wait a minute, you were on the debate team?
Lenny: Yeah, I was really really fucking good, but all the other guys on the team thought I was high all of the time.

you would not believe your eyes

if the devil with yellow eyes